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Serah
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#1 Posted: Wed Jul 28th, 2010 01:04 am |
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Thinking.
Forward to my
mind, wishful thinking tool.
Critical...insightful thinking.
Mass destruction, overloading, useless
thoughts cloud my brain, it's so insane.
Till sleep intrudes once more.
Clears my mind for
thinking.
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Erthona
~Erthona
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#2 Posted: Wed Jul 28th, 2010 11:43 am |
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Serah,
Sorry, don't mean to be rough on you, but....
"Forward to my mind, wishful thinking tool."
Is not exactly a complete sentence (not to mention completely ambiguous. As one meaning could be: Forward, to my mind means, "wishful thinking tool?".). Which somewhat obviates any weight that might be given to the following line "Critical...insightful thinking," especially if critical is meant in the sense of analytical (which is besides the fact it also lacks a predicate and a subject).
I think you could write the last three lines as:
Till sleep intrudes again, and
clears my mind for
thinking.
Which makes it a sentence but still maintains the physical form. Although I have no idea what that form is suppose to be or how it relates to the poem. A cloud I suppose?
I am sure I am overlooking something here, and this makes more sense than I am seeing, or giving credit for.
Dale
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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Erthona
~Erthona
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#3 Posted: Wed Jul 28th, 2010 11:43 am |
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Oh, I see you have your old non-moving avatar back!
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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Serah
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#4 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:26 am |
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Thanks, Dale for reading. This was an example of what one person's brain is like that suffers from ADHA.....their thoughts are all over the place. Could be critical at times, or insightful. But too many thoughts at one time becomes massive destruction as the brain overloads with thoughts, not being able to stay focused on one thing for any length of time. Then finally, they get so tired they fall asleep, even though they fight sleep, which refreshes their mind to think straight again....for a while, till the ADHA kicks in and it starts all over again.
Really not a serious write....just playing around with the form...
A rictameter is a nine line poetry form. The 1st and last lines are the same with the syllable count as follows:
line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9 line 2 - 4 syllables line 3 - 6 syllables line 4 - 8 syllables line 5 - 10 syllables line 6 - 8 syllables line 7 - 6 syllables line 8 - 4 syllables line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1
Last edited on Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:35 am by Serah
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Ben Gunn
Vestri visio, meus tergum.
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#5 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:29 am |
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I didn't get it till you explained it Serah, I must admit.
I do now.
BG290710
____________________
"Whoever lays his hand on me to govern me is a usurper and tyrant, and I declare him my enemy." Proudin 1849.
"No offense, Ben, but you seem to be born for martyrdom via hard lessons learned in hindsight."
rws 2010
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Serah
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#6 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:31 am |
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made ya think, eh, Ben? heehee
It's ok that you didn't get it....that just means that it was a sucko- write.
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Erthona
~Erthona
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#7 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 12:52 pm |
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Actually, I'm not sure this being a rictameter excuses it. If you had titled it ADHD, I might go along with it. However, I'm not sure this typifies ADHD. A person who has ADHD may have trouble staying focused, however it does not make their thinking nonsensical. This is more in line with a psychosis, such as Schizophrenia, or any related disorder typified by excessive dopamine production. As most of the pharmaceuticals used to treat ADHD increase dopamine, it is safe to assume that ADHD is a lack of dopamine, instead of an overabundance. A lack of dopamine leads to attention span problems, but it does not lead to a lack in critical thinking. Nor does sleeping necessarily lead to a lessening of the symptoms, excluding situations that create excess stress which sleeping, might, to some degree ameliorate. Bottom line: there is a difference between disorganized thinking and lack of focus. I think this poem would be more appropriately named, "Amphetamine Psychosis".
This is no slam on you Deb. It is very common for people to confuse, or equate the two mental states, but a poem about ADHD would be tangential, not irrational. With ADHD, one thought would lead to another thought that was only loosely associated with the previous one. Example (not a poem):
Oh look, an airplane. Did I put air in my bicycle tires? Lance Armstrong is such a jerk. Are grackles the same as crows (Lance Armstrong--Sheryl Crow)....Heckle, Doctor Jeckle, and Mister Hyde, was he Jack the Ripper? Is Jack Benny dead? When did George Burns die? Is John Denver still alive. Is Independence pass, the pass that connects Aspen and Vail? I wonder who wrote "Long Black Vail". And on, and on......
Dale
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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Ben Gunn
Vestri visio, meus tergum.
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#8 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:09 pm |
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No Serah, please don't think that. It wasn't inferred or implied by my answer. Just because I don't get it doesn't make it bad. Some things you write have a different resonance to you than to the casual reader.
I'm a gut/instinct writer. As you may have noticed. The mechanics of poetry ( as described for instance by Dale) don't hold the same interest to me (and no, I'm not putting you down Dale) - the perfect example would be the "Verax muse"(sic) poem Dale wrote and "by way of explanation" by me. Two very similar subjects from roughly the same point of view - but look at them it's like chalk and cheese.
I got it once I saw you were playing with syllabics...again (to my shame, really) something I rarely (ie never) do. I CAN do it, but normally if it sounds alright in my head it's gonna be ok. I've written some HORRENDOUS dross on here, and your short word play re. sleep clearing a befuddled brain looks fine to me.The thought of rictameter sends my brain into a rictus, but I won't be attempting one...or maybe I will...
BG290710
ps I did one entitled Amphetamine Psychoses (plural I think) but I haven't posted it, so if you like it Serah, you use it.
Last edited on Thu Jul 29th, 2010 01:31 pm by Ben Gunn
____________________
"Whoever lays his hand on me to govern me is a usurper and tyrant, and I declare him my enemy." Proudin 1849.
"No offense, Ben, but you seem to be born for martyrdom via hard lessons learned in hindsight."
rws 2010
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Erthona
~Erthona
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#9 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 09:51 pm |
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I didn't think you were Ben.
Currently the correct language, as far as the nomenclature used in the DSM IV TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision), is "Amphetamine intoxication delirium" or "Amphetamine-induced psychotic disorder with hallucinations (or delusions)". However in the past they all fell under the rubric of "Amphetamine Psychosis" in the DSM III r, which I believe was the last time a single term was used for what is now 10 related terms. I am fairly certain of this, as I had to do the work up of the diagnosis for said disorder on many occasions, although we preferred to to use the more generic and less stigmatized diagnosis of "dysthymia" (chronic moderate depression), which is a mood disorder as opposed to a mental disorder. It was also easier to get insurance reimbursement, and less restrictive as far as treatment options. However, at times we were forced to use the AP diagnosis in order to justify the need for medical treatment/intervention, which would not occur with dysthymia. Psychosis is used in the singular, in the same way that psychotic is used. A person is psychotic or is having a psychotic episode. Psychoses is generally used to delineate a group, or grouping of psychoses. When the term "Amphetamine Psychosis" was still used, there was only the one psychoses of the Amphetamine variety, and though psychoses is listed as the plural form of psychosis, it is used more in a hierarchical sense, rather than a numbers sense.
And now I think this horse is beaten well and truly dead!
Dale
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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Serah
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#10 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 02:23 am |
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Holy moly ( I don't care if it's spelled wrong! ) Dale! Yes, you've done gone killed this horse for sure and now it's a horse of a different color because here all along I thought I had ADHD and now after reading your science paper ( my worst subject in school ) I now know I must have QRCTUVOTDHAS! In other words....I'm just plain old mental!
Frig this friggin' rictameter!
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Serah
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#11 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 02:24 am |
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Hey, Ben.....I didn't take it that way....no problem, I know what you mean.
I'm just having a few laughs here.....see? 
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Ben Gunn
Vestri visio, meus tergum.
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#12 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 03:16 am |
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Dale, I was laways lead to believe by many drug rehab and counselling services that Amphetamine Psychosis is a singular ( normally the first that the client/user has had.)
I had one in 2002, and unlike psychoactive drugs like pscilocybin or LSD, the hallucinations you encounter under A.P. are real in quality, so the person, unlike an lsd trip, is not aware of his "reality baseline" aural hallucinations are also more common with AP, as no doubt you know anyway.
I was then lead to believe that A. Psychoses referred to further regular or irregular occurences from the same patient/client/user...especially in a serial setting, maybe a weeks worth of fully blown psychoses.
I'm here to be corrected if I'm wrong so please do enlighten
BG300710
____________________
"Whoever lays his hand on me to govern me is a usurper and tyrant, and I declare him my enemy." Proudin 1849.
"No offense, Ben, but you seem to be born for martyrdom via hard lessons learned in hindsight."
rws 2010
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Ben Gunn
Vestri visio, meus tergum.
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#13 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 03:25 am |
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http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-psychoses.htm
Psychoses associated with alcohol and drug abuse: Use of certain drugs can result in temporary psychosis. This is true of hallucinatory or psychotropic drugs, and also of habitual use of “uppers” or stimulants. Methamphetamine, for example, commonly known as speed, will bring on psychotic symptoms with chronic use. Psychoses can include disordered thought, extreme anxiety, hallucinations, and paranoia. Some of these symptoms can be attributed to lack of sufficient sleep over extended periods. Chronic alcoholics also display psychosis when extremely intoxicated or when withdrawing from drinking.
Just dig that up in two minutes. I think it's potayto/potarto tomayto/tomarto kinda thing, unless you have the inside track which I would be interested to read....In the back of a police van I once had a 20 minute conversation with a prostitute who had also been nicked. When we got to the station, they all laughed and asked me "who was that you were laughing and joking with then?" I said (foolishly) that lass you'd nicked...I turned back to look at the back of the van I had just alighted from to see not a dickey bird. And yet for those 20 minutes she was as real as the keyboard you are looking at. Scary, eh? The human brain is fascinating when we chuck stuff at it...
I can smell the synapses frying from outside the front door lol
BG300710
Last edited on Fri Jul 30th, 2010 03:26 am by Ben Gunn
____________________
"Whoever lays his hand on me to govern me is a usurper and tyrant, and I declare him my enemy." Proudin 1849.
"No offense, Ben, but you seem to be born for martyrdom via hard lessons learned in hindsight."
rws 2010
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Ben Gunn
Vestri visio, meus tergum.
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#14 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 03:29 am |
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Erthona wrote: Actually, I'm not sure this being a rictameter excuses it. If you had titled it ADHD, I might go along with it. However, I'm not sure this typifies ADHD. A person who has ADHD may have trouble staying focused, however it does not make their thinking nonsensical. This is more in line with a psychosis, such as Schizophrenia, or any related disorder typified by excessive dopamine production. As most of the pharmaceuticals used to treat ADHD increase dopamine, it is safe to assume that ADHD is a lack of dopamine, instead of an overabundance. A lack of dopamine leads to attention span problems, but it does not lead to a lack in critical thinking. Nor does sleeping necessarily lead to a lessening of the symptoms, excluding situations that create excess stress which sleeping, might, to some degree ameliorate. Bottom line: there is a difference between disorganized thinking and lack of focus. I think this poem would be more appropriately named, "Amphetamine Psychosis".
This is no slam on you Deb. It is very common for people to confuse, or equate the two mental states, but a poem about ADHD would be tangential, not irrational. With ADHD, one thought would lead to another thought that was only loosely associated with the previous one. Example (not a poem):
Oh look, an airplane. Did I put air in my bicycle tires? Lance Armstrong is such a jerk. Are grackles the same as crows (Lance Armstrong--Sheryl Crow)....Heckle, Doctor Jeckle, and Mister Hyde, was he Jack the Ripper? Is Jack Benny dead? When did George Burns die? Is John Denver still alive. Is Independence pass, the pass that connects Aspen and Vail? I wonder who wrote "Long Black Vail". And on, and on......
Dale
____________________
"Whoever lays his hand on me to govern me is a usurper and tyrant, and I declare him my enemy." Proudin 1849.
"No offense, Ben, but you seem to be born for martyrdom via hard lessons learned in hindsight."
rws 2010
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Erthona
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#15 Posted: Sun Aug 1st, 2010 10:19 am |
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Ben, since you asked.
What you list as "Psychoses" "disordered thought, extreme anxiety, hallucinations, and paranoia" are symptoms of some psychosis. For example, to diagnose AP, the DSM would specify that the person had to be experiencing, X number of the following symptoms. Paranoia, auditory, and sensory hallucinations are very common with AP. A commonality shared with cocaine psychosis, is thinking that there are, a) bugs under your skin, or b) amber crystals under your skin. Generally the person believes that these must be removed, and so they will pick at their skin until they have sores all over their arms. Alcoholics, have iron leached away because of drinking, especially women, and so a symptom of that is multiple bruising all over the body.
The dictionary states it as : "a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality."
Basically, a chemical induced form of schizophrenia (schizophrenia being itself a form of psychosis.
Just as a cold is a virus with certain symptomatologies. One of the symptoms is sneezing. But we would not consider sneezing a disease within itself.
"Use of certain drugs can result in temporary psychosis. ( this is correct) This is true of hallucinatory or psychotropic drugs, and also of habitual use of “uppers” or stimulants. " (This is incorrect)
Another thing is that because such CNS (central nervous system stimulates) are water soluble, they exits the body relatively quickly, and the symptoms rapidly decline.
Technically there is such a thing as "LSD psychosis", but it is very different from the other drug induced types. Number on is that the desired effect of the drug is to induce a psychotic experience. However, LSD psychosis occurs when someone takes a trip and never comes back so to speak. As it closely resembles schizophrenia, it is only the cause that determines if the person is the way they are as a result of genetics, or if the state has been chemically induced. As both tend to be chronic and continual, and both respond to the same anti-psychotics such as Haldol in the same way,.
Dale
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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|
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Serah
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#16 Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 02:12 am |
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all this, from my little ole poem.....whew.
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rws
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#17 Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 01:10 pm |
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| Today's lesson: form poetry leads to psychosis and endless conversation.
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Serah
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#18 Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 02:44 pm |
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Erthona
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#19 Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 08:10 pm |
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Endless pointless conversation!
____________________
Please do not take my critique too much to heart,
I would offer Coleridge suggestions on his art.
How long after picking up the brush until the first masterpiece?
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rws
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#20 Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 09:34 pm |
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The choir living in my head says, "Yop!"
:-)
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